Sunday, September 21, 2008

"Billions...and Billions..."

So I just finished watching "Contact" again for the billionth time. I do love that movie. I think because it makes people question their own beliefs in their pursuits for truth and how religion does play some role in this pursuit. Be it your total non belief in anything secular and that religion is what rules our known universe or that your scientific beliefs and evidence of truth could have a world impact causing the pillars of heaven to shake, so to speak.

I think it represents both of these spectrum's fairly evenly without prejudice.

Where do I lie? Good question. I believe that everyone has their own personal right to believe in what they wish. Be it a vengeful god with a flowing white beard, or a giant ball of noodles, or even some sort of celestial being. Whatever your beliefs are, every individual has a right to believe in them, even the atheists (believe it or not guys, it is a belief that you follow).

However, I do have my own personal views on "religion". So without getting into a huge debate about religion, which this post is NOT about and we'll get to that, I think that following anything blindly, without questioning it's purpose or existence can be dangerous. I also believe that as long as your faith and your pursuit in this faith does no harm to anyone or ones self, emotionally, physically or mentally, then you have the right to pursue it.

I personally do not believe in a God by most religious definitions. I believe in a law. I believe in a law in the universe and the harmony that bonds the universe to our known natures, human, animal, botanical, etc. I believe that the force that engineered these laws, the architect responsible for initiating and maintaining these forces falls within my own definition of what God is, just as Carl Sagan would say. It's less scientific I know, and most scientists would argue since their one basic law is to concede to existing evidence and nothing more. As for me, there are far too many questions than there are answers, and within these questions I find proof in the unexplained.

It isn't a hope, to me it is a proof, because the force and process of "life" existed before we ever came to be. We didn't create life, we fell into it's existence.

So with that, brings me to what this post is truly about. Life and existence beyond our own. I believe that without a doubt, we are not alone in this vast darkness we call the universe. For someone to say that we are, I believe to be a very arrogant statement. We still can't cure the common cold, we can't even decide if Pluto is a planet or not (I'm sure that Plutonians are probably kinda pissed about this). So to say that without a doubt that we are the only known existence of life as we know it in the universe, is arrogant.

I believe in other civilizations. It doesn't matter if they are microbes frozen in some inter galactic space ice, or a free thinking population of people with their own political struggles. I believe it's out there.

Why?

Because in July of 1989, I saw proof. Undeniable, unequivocal, "Holy shit what did I just see?!", proof.

Back in the summer of 89, my mother who was pregnant and about to burst with my youngest brother, Kaelan, had taken up a paper route to earn extra cash while being on maternity leave. This wasn't an ordinary paper route that a grade schooler takes up to save money to buy comic books and a cheap necklace for his first girlfriend. This paper route took 4-5 hours every morning to complete.

We had a ritual for this. We would wake up at about 1am or so and head down to this lot where we would get our daily delivery. We had to roll each newspaper, rubber band them, add any and all inserts for the latest coupons and local deals and load them into the car.

I remember my parents buying and old 1978 Ford Fairmont specifically for this job. My mom and I would load all the newspapers in the back and begin delivering newspapers for the next few hours. Before we started our route though we would stop at a local Texaco off of 15th and Market st. in Ballard, WA and gas up, get something to drink and something to snack on. We did this every day for 3 months. The only real redeeming thing about it as that my mom would let me drive sometimes while we took turns hurling newspapers at peoples screen doors and porches.

One clear July morning around 2am, we had completed our load into the car and were heading to the local Texaco again for some Diet Cokes, Gas and munchies like we always did. It wasn't cold at all actually, I remember a warm breeze flowing through the air...I remember it being rather comfortable and tranquil.

We usually took 65th street from 24th to 15th and would take a right down onto 15th to hit Market st. Anyone who has ever been on this flat stretch of road knows exactly where it goes. If you were to continue forward on 65th you would see straight ahead of you a very large and steep incline going up a larger hill into Greenwood. If you continued down it would take you straight to Greenlake.

It was really clear that night, not a cloud in the sky. Ballard was less developed then so after 1am everything was closed down and you could see every bright star in the sky.

In fact, once we reached the intersection of 15th and 65th, we stopped at a 4 way intersection and admired the clear sky and how brilliant it really was. It was so quite you could hear a pin drop as we were the only car in that intersection at the time.

As my mom and I both gazed at the stars and admiring the beauty of the clearest of skies...there it was.

Literally out of no where, appeared a large circular object in the distance, and what I could say may have been about 400-500 feet away. It was was a perfect circle with a bright green hue to it. It was brilliant as it just hovered there. It was so large, the only thing I could describe is if you were to take a baseball and hold it up against the inside of your windshield, that's how big it was.

It sat there for maybe 5-7 seconds while my mom and I just watched, entirely speechless. It then began to travel East...first very slowly and then almost immediately very very rapidly.

I could only tell how far and quickly it traveled for one reason.

Remember that hill I told you about? The one that if you were to continue traveling East on 65th? It's a very high and steep hill and from where we were sitting it was over a mile away from us. This thing went from 0-500mph in mere nanoseconds, you could see the distance it traveled as it grew smaller and smaller as it jetted away from us in just a matter of milliseconds.

Just like that...it was gone.

I've only told a few people this story as when I initially shared this story it was met with pure skepticism and considered silly malarkey. But I know what I saw and without a doubt I knew what it was. There was no question. There were no blinking lights, no blurry weird lights in the distance. It was a clear sky lit brightly from just the moon and stars. It was in fact July, but it wasn't fireworks. There was no smoke trail and it wasn't any kind of firework I've ever seen in my lifetime.

What I saw I can only gather was a moment where I was shown proof of existence outside of our own. I don't know if they had somehow taken a wrong turn somewhere and realized they were way off course, or it was simply observing.

Does this further my belief in what I may define as God. Yes and No. It has proven to me that no, we are not alone in this universe. Does it make me believe that extra terrestrial beings will come and visit us and share their knowledge with us? No. Personally...I dont think our world in its infancy is ready for that...which is why religion today plays such a large role in this. Even if we had irrefutable proof, tangible in my hand kind of proof, would we share it? Would we want to?

Personally, I would be afraid to. I would fear the ever growing and powerful religious ramifications that would and could be inflicted upon me as a result. Our nation amongst others would see a massive religious hysteria and a possible collapse in the stability of our people. It is disheartening, but fact.

However my memory remains and all I can do is share my story. I will never forget that morning. I can't remember the names of all of my high school teachers, or the names of all the skate boarding tricks I knew at the time, but I remember that morning as clearly now as I did when I first saw it.

I've never seen one since though, and I keep looking up at the night sky every time I am stopped anywhere just hoping I can see them again.

Maybe next time, they will stop long enough so I can give them directions.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Watch the weather change...

So some time has past by since I've last update my blog. Lifes been pretty hectic at work and my social life consists mainly of dog kisses and waiting for my next Netflix shipment.

However a great deal has changed since I've updated my blog.

I now live in a 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment, sans room mate. That's right, she's moved out. There were some events, some I am not happy about and some I am, that lead up to this event either way it was necessary in the end.

I will reserve any ill thoughts or words against my old room mate, but I will say that I think she really needs to open her eyes when it comes to her actions in life and those around her. She isn't a very responsible person and I only fear that her constant avoidance of her responsibilities will only result in being overwhelmed and eventually drown in a sea of "I should haves".

It's been nice though. I'm back to my routine of sitting around by myself with Chino in my underwear and carrying on conversations with him. I can only imagine he can understand very few words I am saying that aren't "Food", "Dinner" or "Treats". It has been nice though...for both of us.

Now summer has come and gone, and this year I plan on using some extra cash to put towards making my place a little "warmer". Right now my walls are blank and I want to put some art up. I want to get a new couch or two and a table for the living room with lots of throw rugs. I suspect I will be spending a good amount of time indoors as most of us Seattlelites do doing the winter time, so I want it to feel as warm and inviting as possible.

My birthday came one went with a whimper. I am now 23+10 years old now. I didn't really do much honestly, I just wasn't into it much this year. I've just been too busy to care.

I am really looking forward to the Fall though. I do love Summer more than anything, but I'm ready for comfort food, hot chocolate and watching the leaves change. It also means I will finally be done working on this huge project my group is involved in and the world can enjoy it.

In the meantime, watch the weather change...

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Sent from my iPhone

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

As the world turns...

It's been a few weeks since I've update, and I have good reason. I have been SLAMMED at work. I've been pulling 12 hour days for the last month or so and it's been mentally exhausting. I literally go to work in the AM and go home to eat, feed the dog and sleep. I did take a little mini vacation to sort of decompress but it definitely was not long enough.

I can finally talk a bit about what I've been working on and those with a 360 can possibly imagine the amount of work that is involved. Here's a video showing off what I am helping build for the Xbox 360.



So now it's back to the grind. I didn't get to do much over my vacation. I finally had a good amount of extra spending cash for trips and such but I had to take Chino to the vet and it was very expensive. I can afford it just fine but it just left me without a lot to take a trip with. So I pretty much just spent the weekend hanging out, cleaning and taking care of things I needed to.

I am also finally coming out of the black and into the green financially. If you read any of my previous posts you'd remember how financially raped I was due to my room mate not paying rent for 2 months and having to take care of my own bills on top of that.

Good news is my credit is finally back up since the divorce and I got an offer to buy back my car from the dealership to finance a newer model (with better gas mileage than my 2006 Grand Prix) at a much lower interest rate.

Things are now on the up and up and come September I get my big ass bonus. Part of that is going to be used to take a trip, maybe Italy or Spain...or just Vegas, who knows.

I'm also joining a work out program at the Gym I go to, to tone up some more. Lately I've been kicking my own ass at the gym and I'm a sexy fuck. Girls, watch out.

I'll be updating more regularly as things start to slow down here in a bit, but in the mean time feel free to comment or just drop a line to say "Hi".

Oh and I almost forgot...my little project. Things are coming a long nicely actually. Recently my old buddy had linked some old work that Riot Software (an indy game company I started back in 1997) had done. Someday I will share the story, but yes I ran my own game company for about 5 years. After talking with him I had remembered about this intro video 3 of us had worked on in 99. Essentially it was a simple company intro video that would execute when one of our games would launch, specifically this was for GvT. Just a simple 30 second intro. Check it out!



Also a link to the GvT wallpaper that was made by the talented Jesse Justice based on my concepts.


I think the hardest thing to accomplish was designing a Riot Software logo that actually spelled the word "Riot" *and* looked cool. After many nights and attempts, I finally drew a concept on a napkin on a cafe somewhere. I then went home and redrew it and polished it...I think I still have the original copy.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Mo money, mo problems...

How was everyones 4th of July weekend? Do anything fun or exciting? Mine was pretty low key. Honestly I wasn't all that into it this year. Actually I was hoping to have been hanging out with my dad and family in Missouri over the 4th weekend, however I couldn't afford to go.

It appears my room mate could not come up with her rent at all this month which put me in a pretty crappy financial situation and I'm pretty damn irritated by it. In fact having her tell me how wonderful and great her 4th celebration was, while she went out of town, just pissed me off more. I couldn't really do much myself, didn't have the money to really do much...why? Because I had to pay all the rent and bills on my own.

I'm glad she had such a great time, while I sat around broke. I'm glad she shared this with me also. I love hearing about skirting any real responsibility while I take the brunt of the shit allowed her to have such a great time.

uggh rant over.

Anyone looking for a place to live?

Though I did go out with Natalie and saw Hancock, I really enjoyed it actually. Then we went and got happy hour drinks at this new bowling alley at Lincoln Square in Bellevue. This place was actually really cool. I's not your typical bowling alley that wreaks of old shoes and grease. Tis place is damn classy. Reminds me of a place you'd see in Vegas. Any of you that read this, really need to check this place out. They even had Bud Light bottled in Bowling Pin shaped bottles. Lucky Strike

How awesome is that.

I dedicate this to my room mate:


Thursday, July 3, 2008

What?!

Ok, the fucking internet just won.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

"The sanctity of this blog has been fouled..."


After 8 years of wondering, confusion, wishing, dreaming and endless nights of weeping in the fetal position of my bathtub...it has finally come.

Diablo 3.

Back in 1996 when I began to take my first step into a long journey of working in the game industry, there was one game that took a hold of me and would never let go, even 10 years later. This game had me enchanted, bewildered and under a long dark spell that resulted in endless nights of amazement and carpal tunnel.

The game was a masterpiece. This was Diablo.

From the dark gothic undertones and fables of a strange enchanted world overcome by a menacing evil, to the beautiful soundtrack provided by the talented Matt Uelmen, the game was a masterpiece. I was lucky enough to have been accepted into the very limited beta program for this game. I was stunned at the quality of the game for its time, the online coop modes and the depth of simple gameplay it had offered, was nothing short of fantastic.

This was the first game I ever worked on and I was hooked.

I then landed the arduous task of working officially on the add on pack, Hellfire for Diablo 1. Unfortunately I was not a fan of this add on. It was not an officially sanctioned add on from Blizzard Entertainment. It was simply a hack job that Sierra had put together using existing assets from Blizzard. This was done through the sister partnership that Sierra had with Blizzard as they were both owned by Davidson and Associates, which was later bought out by CUC International.

The add on really took away from the story and changed the feel of the game, I was not a fan of this. I still have my copy sitting on my shelf where it will remain though I hear it's pretty hard to come by these days.

A few years later I was salivating for more and Diablo 2 was unleashed onto the world. This meant I was again slapping my arm to find a vein to inject liquid hot Diablo into my body for years to come. Girlfriends and jobs came and went, but Diablo 2 remained. My addiction had worsened when the Lord of Destruction add on came out for Diablo 2.

However, after my long Diablo 2 career was over I was left wanting more. Where is 3? There were no hints, no suggestions by Blizzard that Diablo 3 was even a possibility. This went on for 8 long years. Yes, 8. I worked on the original over 10 years ago, in fact I still have my original copy from then, including the beta.

After one of the heads of Blizzard, Bill Roper, departed Blizzard it seemed that Diablo 3 was going to be a long wait...and this worsened when the original team, Blizzard North was essentially disintegrated. It seemed that Diablo 3 would never happen.

Until...

Two weeks ago, Blizzard started displaying teaser images on their homepage. It was an evolving image that would change every 24 hours to reveal something else within the image. There was a great deal of speculation in regards to what the reveal was going to be. Websites sprang up all over the place, dedicated to unraveling yet another Blizzard mystery.

On July 28th in Paris, France during the World Wide Invitational held by Blizzard, the final image was revealed, and it showed us that Diablo 3 is indeed coming.

Diablo 3 has apparently been in development since 2004. In fact the game has gone under 3 strong revisions to get it right, which is something Blizzard is notoriously known for.

Now I wouldn't normally make such a long and involved post about a video game. However Diablo holds a very special place in my heart. It was the first game I ever worked on. It was the game that made me want to work in the industry, it was my inspiration of things to come.

And now, I get to endure endless, sleepless nights and carpal tunnel for the 3rd time.